AFTER a miserable start to December for Blackburn Rovers, I feel it's my duty to bring some much-needed festive cheer to Ewood Park.

That's why I've decided to don my Santa suit and dish out some early Christmas presents, in the hope it will put some smiles back on the faces of Mark Hughes and his players.

But just what do you give multi-million pound Premier League footballers, who already appear to have everything?

Here's my top 12 Christmas crackers...

1) A course in speed-dating for Ryan Nelsen and Christopher Samba. After some poor defensive performances recently, I think it's time Rovers' two centre-backs got to know each other again. Instead of being as generous as Father Christmas at the back, they need to become more Scrooge-like, just like they were earlier in the season.

2) A Sat-Nav system for Benni McCarthy because the 30-year-old can't find his way to goal. No goals in eight games is comfortably the longest scoring drought of McCarthy's Rovers career.

3) A win bonus for Roque Santa Cruz. The Paraguayan has scored five goals in his last two games, yet finished on the losing side on both occasions.

4) An England shirt for David Bentley. I know he's been called into the squad before but he now deserves an extended run in the team at full international level. It's time for David Beckham to step aside.

5) A name change for Morten Gamst Pedersen. Since he swapped Pedersen' for Gamst' on the back of his shirt, he hasn't been the same player.

6) A magic spell on Mark Hughes, which prevents him from ever winning manager of the month again. Since he picked up the award for October, Hughes has been cursed, winning only one of his eight games since.

7) A first team chance for Academy winger Keith Treacy. Described as the new Damien Duff' in some quarters, it's time for Treacy to show what he's made of, particularly given Pedersen's recent form. If Rovers are to continue being a force at Premier League level, then they must produce more home-grown talent.

8) A Deal or No Deal' board game for Dan Williams. Is he serious about buying Rovers, or just playing board games himself? If he is serious then he needs to pull his finger out and strike a deal quickly, before we all lose the will to live.

9) Some cash for Sparky to spend in the January sales (see above). The squad is in need of freshening up and we can't keep expecting the manager to rummage through the bargain rack.

10) The elixir of life for Tugay, which will enable the midfield maestro to play on forever. I'm dreading the day he announces his retirement.

11) A Christmas card that isn't red or yellow for the entire Rovers squad. Rovers are bottom of the Fair Play table again with 35 yellows and five reds.

It's about time some of the refs started picking on someone else because we're not very good at playing with 10-men.

12) A return ticket to Europe. If we get our act together, I still believe we can finish in the top six.

Happy Christmas everyone, and keep believing!