I chanced upon a genie recently who said that if I wished she had a wish she could grant forthwith.

I thought about it for a while and presently, with a wish in mind, sped full pelt for the phone box two doors away where, to my surprise, I found it once again occupied by phone-high invaders from the hedgerow.

It’s some time now since BT popped round with their secateurs and in the interim still uncared for.

Oh, I nearly forgot, what was the wish? Well, it was along the lines of reawakening the destructive power of Godzilla with a view to do something really nasty to Cuadrilla.

Joseph G Dawson, Withnell, Chorley (via e-mail)