THIS week I was ridiculed for making up a new phrase. Now, it’s not the first time this has happened – over the years I have made up several words and phrases that I commonly used when I was a kid.

The words in question were the ‘haircut shop’. Now, I don’t find this at all strange but if I want to call a ‘barbers’ a ‘haircut shop’ then I should be permitted without the grammar police telling me I can’t.

Come to think of it, I have commonly used new words to describe most places – ‘takeaway shop’ and ‘butchers shop’ to name but a few.

I have to admit, ‘petrol station shop’ was my favourite.

I think it all began when we discovered the ‘fish and chip shop’. It works there, somehow, so why not with the other places where one ventures?

The point is, there is nothing wrong with using words and terms that make you sound stupid. As long one gets the message across, it is fine.

Yes, I do realise it is nonsense and my 10-year-old daughter corrects me when I use such terms.

On top of that, there is real confusion when people begin to use two different languages when speaking.

If one is fluent in Urdu and Punjabi, then you are sometimes faced with people inter-changing words and phrases.

This can be quite confusing at times and you are bound to make contradictions sooner or later.

I got asked for a ‘bucket balti’ some weeks back.

Not content with saying the same words twice in two different languages, he then proceeded to ask for some ‘paanee water’.

All good, I suppose, as long as it makes sense.

I will not, however, stand for those who put an ‘S’ at the end of Asda. It is not Asdas, it is Asda.

Morrissons and Sainsburys – ‘S’ at the end – Asda and Tesco – no ‘S’. A simple rule of law that should be engrained into the constitution.