I WENT to the chippy the other day. I had the scenario all worked out – I order fish, chips and curry sauce, the man fills a tray, I hand over the money, job done.

In reality, things were more complicated: ‘Fish, chips and curry, please.’ ‘Large fish or regular?’ ‘Erm, regular’ ‘Do you want Chinese curry or English?’ ‘Uh, English.’ (I suppose).

‘Do you want the curry sauce just over the fish or over everything?’ Stomach rumbling now. ‘The lot.’ Finally the food was laid out in the tray. ‘Do you want it wrapped?’ ‘Please’. ‘Would you like a fork?’ ‘OK’. ‘Do you want a bag?’ By this time something inside me was crying: Just give me the damned food!

How did we get to the stage when so many decisions have to be made in ordering a simple lunch?

Observer, Blackburn.