Tea time: phone rings. “Do you get your gas from British Gas or E-On, Mr Pratt?”

“Why do you need to know?” I replied.

She rang off. Of course, they are not selling you anything but they do work for other people who do want to sell to you.

I know someone who, when ‘cold called’, says: “The householder died last week.”

That stops them in their tracks.

Nice one.

D Pratt (Mr), Plantation Street, Accrington.