DID you go along to one of those “con-sul-ta-tions” in Darwen over the past couple of weeks?

No, not one about the hospitals, or the town centre redevelopment, or parking discs, or the Neighbourhood Voices scheme.

No, the con-sul-ta-tions about the proposed one-way bus lane which seems to be aimed at whisking Darwen shoppers into Blackburn to spend their money a few minutes quicker than at present.

The cost will be around £50million, probably a lot more.

But, of course, it isn’t our money. It’s the government’s money. Except that the government hasn’t got any money, apart from what it rakes in from us. So it’s really our money.

I didn’t go. I’ve been painting the garage door and was watching it dry. But a lot of other people I know wasted their time.

I made my position clear on local authority con-sul-ta-tions in my column back in March. Jargon leads the way while Action trails in behind, spattered with mud. The idea: a) Keep the punters guessing, and b) Maintain the illusion that They are brighter than Us.

I wrote: “My favourite bit of jargon is con-sul-ta-tion. The object here is to give the impression that what We think actually matters to Them.”

The penny is beginning to drop though. Just about everyone I spoke to who had gone along to one of the meetings was still hopping mad days afterwards. Capita have apparently designed the whole fandango and no doubt had a finger in the chat shows.

It was again classic divide-and-conquer. Separate tables with a council rep and a group of concerned locals chattering away with little direction.

No-one in authority asked the one question that really mattered. Are you in favour of it? At least not until someone from the floor was urged to toss it into the pot at Derwent Hall. Not surprisingly no-one was.

But, of course, that doesn’t matter. That’s not the point of con-sul-ta-tion. All you are expected to do is either give a plan a warm round of applause, or dare to suggest a minor tickle here and there.

The details are still sketchy. The colour leaflet stuck through every door a few weeks ago was useless and the discussion displays weren’t much better, I’m told.

However, as I said, the penny is beginning to drop. Everyone I spoke to told me: “No-one wants it. But we’re going to get it.”

Perhaps not. I reckon that the whole scheme will go the way of the previous grandiose plan to hopefully speed things up and possibly save a few buckets of carbon dioxide – the light railway which didn’t even get to the tell-us-what-you-think stage.

Local councillors aren’t daft. At least not when it comes to protecting their power and their expenses.

This will be a step too far for them to risk. Bet on it. It won’t get anywhere – even with Capita in the driving seat.