HERE'S a light-hearted general knowledge quiz for anyone out there who might be of the opinion that the topic this column has as its permanent theme is crime and the lack of suitable punishment!

What is the worst and most health-hazardous job in the world?

Is it (a) Cultural adviser to Saddam Hussein. (b) Damage limitation consultant to the Oasis Brothers Gallagher or (c) Manager of a football club.

OK. I concede that a and b do have certain unattractive segments to their conditions of employment; working for nutters is one which immediately springs to mind.

But, for its sheer casualty rate, c has to be the winner by a long way.

The UK soccer season is barely a month old and yet the list of sackings and voluntary exits in August and September makes very sombre reading.

Bruce Rioch from Arsenal, Sammy Chung (Doncaster), Kenny Dalglish (Blackburn), Alan Ball (Manchester City), Jimmy Thomson (Raith), Jimmy Bone (St Mirren), Andy King (Mansfield), Ray Wilkins (Queens Park Rangers), Howard Wilkinson (Leeds), Alex Smith (Clyde), Billy Kirkwood (Dundee United), Tommy McLean (Raith), Iain Munro (Hamilton), Archie Gemmill and John McGovern (Rotherham) and Steve Archibald (East Fife).

An astonishing total of 16 managerial changes are involved in that lot, which indicates this is a job where the chances of qualifying for a gold watch are zero.

There are those inside and outside the fair town of Blackburn who believe the vultures are hovering over Ray Harford and that sooner, rather than later, his scalp will be added to the above list.

Ray hasn't actually had the best of luck, has he? He inherited a team built around one man, Alan Shearer, and then suffered the gobsmacking experience of losing that man to Newcastle.

Whether Harford can turn round the fortunes of the Ewood outfit is up to the men who actually go out there and kick the ball. But, going off the form book, I wouldn't say he had a great deal of time.

I do hope he survives. He seems a decent chap.

The trouble is that football has gone completely barmy, with players earning upwards of a million a year and nowt to spend it on once they've bought big houses and cars to match.

Some, it would appear, become addicted to drugs and alcohol. Many find the elevation to the status of pop stars too much to handle and become petulant boors, rather like Paul Gascoigne.

Get 11 of these popinjays together and you have a recipe for anarchy which would make Mutiny On The Bounty look like a Sunday School outing.

Taking charge of pop 'giants' (pygmies more like it) Oasis would be child's play, literally and metaphorically, compared to managing a football club.

And being a member of Saddam's legion of white-washers would be less stressful. Perhaps Mr Harford would be happy in Baghdad!

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.