IF you want to save money don't go to Blackpool, just come to Tottington.

If you want to terrify the kids forget the Ghost Train, try driving them towards the crazy roundabout at Sunnywood Drive and watch their faces as they see a bus or a lorry coming straight towards them.

And instead of the Big Dipper, just drive down Booth Street.

I think the person responsible for roads in Bury should leave as quickly as possible for his summer job: in that big glass case on Blackpool Pleasure Beach!

THE ORACLE

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.