OTHER people's air can get right up your nose.

And if you're the sort of person who's happy to shell out for "poncey water", bug-ridden yoghurt and teeth-cracking muesli, then designer air is just the next step.

Or so master raconteur Ben Elton believes in his stage play Gasping which opened at Blackpool's Grand Theatre on Monday (May 1).

Neil Stacy is big bad company boss Sir Chiffley Lockheart, an amazing reproduction of CJ from The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin who threatened to launch into "I didn't get where I am today" at any moment.

"Show me the person who can make £1 where no £1 existed before and he's the man for me," he tells his top man David Haig who wonderfully combines his former role of the inept Inspector Grim from Mr Elton's The Thin Blue Line with big Ben himself. He rants and rails that the man who earns a six figure sum is not the sort of person who wishes to inhale bus driver's flatulence all day.

And the Suck 'n' Blow is born, looking something like the spawn of a Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Pushy PR Girl Kirsten (Iona Grant) and up and coming executive Sandy (Stephen Mapes) are all too familiar DINKys (Double Income No Kids) with attitude who turn into "real air snobs" as prices rocket and only the best breezes straight off the Sierra plains will do.

But as with most of Ben's fables there is a sticky end for the corporate giant with a black heart.

A saucy script fired out with the speed of a machine gun and fabulous performances make this moral tale with a twist the perfect excuse to spend a night away from the TV.

Ben Elton's Gasping runs at Blackpool Grand Theatre until Saturday with tickets and more information available by calling the box office on (01253) 290111.