NOTWITHSTANDING the allegations that four out of five of Lord Burns' inquiry team, who will shortly publish the government-commissioned report into the impact of a ban on fox hunting, are pro-hunt fifth columnists, what intrigues me is the assertion they are said to be coming up with.
And, surprisingly, we are told the government intends to use it to argue against taking any action.
For the team is saying that there is no conclusive evidence that a fox attacked by hounds feels pain at the kill.
Well, of course, there isn't -- we do not have the benefit of any after-death testimony from an articulate, ripped-apart fox over whether it hurts or not.
And being unaware of any scientific study involving wiring up a hounded-to-death fox to a heart monitor and sticking a thermometer under its brush, I do not know, either, where the inquiry has gathered the so-called fragmentary evidence that the animal's pulse and body temperature rise as it is being chased.
But this, I suppose, is a fair guess. As is mine that being torn to pieces by foxhounds hurts like hell.
Yet if members of Lord Burns' inquiry are undecided on this score, I can only suggest that, even at this late stage, they have themselves rubbed down with fox musk and take a country stroll -- and discover whether or not it tickles when a pack of baying, bloodthirsty hounds and pink-coated sadists on horseback catches up with them.
However, are not all their deliberations and ridiculous guesswork nothing more than a smokescreen for the government to hide behind yet again and evade its election promise to ban hunting and its reiteration by Tony Blair almost a year ago?
Any debate over whether fox hunting is cruel or barbaric is a diabolical insult to common sense.
And an equal affront to the majority of voters and their MPs is the pusillanimous refusal of ministers, afraid of the rich and landed country lobby, to outlaw this disgusting practice.
They deserve the backlash of their backbenchers -- and tally-ho for a revolt sounded by Pendle MP Gordon Prentice who says: "We're talking about people who kill animals for fun."
And if the voters wallop them again for being out of touch with the people, they will have asked for that too.
Just how many times can they go to earth on this?
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