I'VE NOT mentioned them indoors for a while but I'm afraid they're back with a vengeance this week, Billy Boy, Big Sis, the Golden Boy -- the lot.

We don't make a habit of getting together for tea, but only this week I made the effort.

The occasion: Nana Flo's birthday. As soon as I walked in there was a row going on with Nana Flo insisting vehemently she was 78. She just was not having that she is in fact 79 and it took an awful lot of persuading to convince her otherwise. At one point I thought fiery Nana Flo was going to get violent and if she had any teeth she definitely would have gritted them. I never knew 80-year-olds could sulk so well.

A frosty atmosphere was quickly thawed by the entrance of my two-year-old nephew Golden Boy, who up until this point had been playing in the garden with his dad Billy Boy. "Isn't he clever, he kicked the football and everything."

The room positively glowed when he walked in and all attention was quickly on him and when he sang happy birthday to Nana Flo, tears welled in everyone's eyes.

I wouldn't mind but all this time the Mite, my younger nephew, had been crawling around the living room floor practically unnoticed. He could have sat up recited Shakespeare and then burst into flames and nobody would have batted an eyelid.

After exchanging cards, gifts and pleasantries it was time for the cake. I always thought the honour of blowing them out went to the birthday boy/girl.

Not so.

We all starting singing Happy Birthday at Nana Flo but halfway through Billy Boy and Big Sis changed the direction aiming the words towards the Golden Boy. In fact I was the only one who said "Nana Flo" in the chorus, everybody else said "Golden Boy" before he promptly blew out the candles earning himself a heartily round of applause. Even Nana Flo was joining in and it was her birthday!

Billy Boy brought him out a present so he wouldn't get upset, because the Golden Boy actually thought it was his birthday. Then my folks did the same.

Of course he thought it was his birthday. If you brought out a cake with candles on and started singing at me I'd think it was my birthday, too.

The Mite looked as bemused as I did. He was wondering where his presents were and I was wondering why there were all these presents at all. Instead of glass crystal and Steradent which you would expect to see at a pensioner's birthday, the room was littered with Bob the Builder this and Tweenie that.

You could say it's not my place but I am the boy's uncle and Golden Boy cannot go through life thinking the world revolves around him. Someone needs to set him straight, and I might just be the man for the job! Birthday tidings ebbed away from Flo Golden Boy blew out the candles, earning a round of applause TOY JOY: Bob the Builder isn't the kind of present you often see at a party for someone who's 79 -- but he was there