AFTER the posing and the posturing, the tears and the cheers it is almost over.

As Just Jamie went to press it will all be over bar the shouting.

It has been a fraught campaign and -- judging by office talk -- the expected apathy did not arrive. I know it is confidential but I'm going to tell you who got my vote. And why.

It was ... Penny.

The way she carried on in the Big Brother house annoyed me from the start. Her whimpering voice, her pathetic flirting, everything about her. What clinched it for me was the way she hammed up the tears (crocodile no doubt) once it was established she was up for the chop.

By contrast her fellow nominee Helen the hairdresser remained dignified when the names were read out. She admitted she knew it would be her and is fully expecting to walk through the door back into civilisation but in an ideal world it would be Penny making that solemn march. And alcohol would be free.

I was loathed to mention Big Brother in this column because I didn't want it to be a platform for the obvious. On Valentine's Day I shall not bemoan not getting any cards and come Christmas I shall not be telling you what a nightmare it all is and how it's all commercial nowadays etc etc.

But I just could not overlook Big Brother 2 -- to give it its proper name.

I was disappointed when it first returned to our screens at the end of last month. After becoming firm friends with builder Craig, having a soft spot for the lovely Mel and kind of feeling sorry for the hapless 'Nasty' Nick these 10 new strangers looked out of place in the house. As if they had broke in to our friends' home and although we could see it were powerless to do anything about it.

But that was more than a week ago. Nasty Nick, Craig, even the lovely Mel have all been banished to the part of the brain marked 'yesterday's news' along with virtual pets, Oasis and Survivor.

Firm friendships have already been formed with the new 10 -- with the exception of course of Penny who, fingers crossed, has already spent her last night in the house.

I'm still not happy with the new look of the house, it's far too warm and welcoming.

The whole concept of Big Brother surely should be one of a punishing regime. There would be no comfy settees or a chill-out zone. Instead there would be just one chair in the whole house and the inmates -- yes inmates who would all wear regulation uniform and have numbers not names -- would simply have to fight for it.

The one-hour-only-in-the-morning hot water rule for the showers would have to go in favour of a cold-water-shower-on-the-hour-every-hour rule. That should keep them on their toes. And one double bed will have to suffice for them all. This is no holiday camp you know. The most stinging criticism of the programme is just how nice Big Brother actually is. Big Brothers are by their nature swaggering bully-boys and the all-seeing Big Brother in George Orwell's 1984 was in fact a police state.

The other day Big Brother offered cheeky, chirpy cockney Bubble -- who it has been whispered within the office I look like, much to my absolute disgust -- a shoulder to cry on when the group held an intimate and revealing 'tell us who you really are' session.

My Big Brother would speak with a booming automated voice whose gravel tones would stamp out any such bonding.

"Bubble I must remind you that crying is forbidden. you will leave the house if you persist to whine like a weak girl."

Still for all its faults it's still addictive viewing and me and the Long Suffering Marjorie have started playing it at home.

Every night I follow her around with a camcorder watching her every move -- much to her annoyance. The rows have been frequent but it makes for great television but I've got this awful feeling that I'm up for eviction very soon.