IT'S a bleak, northern January. Teresa, Mary and Kate meet at their home to organise their mother's funeral. The fact they can't stand each other is the least of their problems in The Memory Of Water - Shelagh Stephenson's black farce which won an Olivier award for best comedy.

The Pendle Borderline Theatre Company will present the play at Colne Municipal Hall from May 13 - 15 at 7.30pm. For tickets (adults £4, concessions £3) call (01282) 661234. The play contains strong language.

THE 2003-04 season is the Burnley Garrick Club's 75th season. To mark this milestone a series of special plays has been chosen for the club to perform. The fifth play of the season is the intimate comedy Private Lives by Noel Coward, directed by Dorothy Spencer. Performances are at the Burnley Mechanics, at 7:30pm nightly. For tickets call (01282) 664400.

GASP at the exploits of the handsome hero. Sigh along with the lovelorn heroine. Quake at the sight of the spine-chilling monster and rock to the best music in town in Todmorden Amateur Dramatic Society's Return to the Forbidden Planet. The rock 'n' roll masterpiece runs at the Hippodrome Theatre in Todmorden on Saturday . For tickets (£8, £6 concessions) call (01706) 816568.

BLACKBURN Drama Club presents Night Must Fall by Emlyn Williams at the Thwaites Empire Theatre from May 19 until May 22 at 7.30pm. For tickets, call (01254) 680137.

BLACKBURN Amateurs will stage South Pacific at Oswaldtwistle Civic Theatre between May 10 and 15.