I visited East Germany in 1982 well before the Berlin Wall crashed down. In those days you were issued with a day visa but only after filling in an exhausting set of forms.

Although this procedure took a full two hours before entry was granted, I wasn’t prepared for the intensive questioning on attempting to re-enter the West.

The reason for this was that my mother was born in the East and fled to the West when the Russians invaded. In the documentation process I was asked the place of origin of my parents.

On my return, the border guards had scrutinised my mother’s East German birthplace and wondered why her son was attempting passage through the Wall!

I was detained for over three hours before a series of phone calls to the relevant authorities eventually gained my freedom.

What has this recollection got to do with our forthcoming fixture against our rivals Blackburn Rovers, you may ask?

Well there are stark similarities. I have to bed down on the Saturday night in Burnley in order to make sure of a 10am arrival at the Turf. We get ferried in over 50 buses and coaches in convoys of 10 to be confronted by a triple ring of Robocop police lines and an obligatory helicopter buzzing overhead.

After body searches, we do gain access to an alcohol-free zone an hour and a half before the 1pm kick off! Okay it has been deemed necessary as there is history between the two clubs but what has happened to the matchday experience?

Although we don’t need reminding of our first meetings in the Champion-ship season of 2000-2001, the records state we lost 2-0 at home and 5-0 away. The latter a real hammer blow.

In the days when I was asked to provide a couple of pages in ‘The Claret’ magazine for each home programme, the following was my candid assessment of Burnley’s performance in the Ewood game.

“As the game progressed, despondency set in with two first half goals being conceded. In the final 45 minutes we lost our shape as we tried to chase the game and we were stretched all over the park like a length of mozzarella cheese.

“Now I only play Sunday football so what do I know? Fair point, but in the 30 years that I’ve played, when we come up against opp-onents that are faster, more skilful than ourselves, we make sure that they don’t determine the game.

“We’re told to ‘get in their shorts’, ‘let them know you are there’ and more than anything ‘stick to them like their very own shadow’.

“At Ewood, Burnley didn’t and paid the penalty.

“The town of Burnley was in grieving afterwards. The faces of the returning fans told their own story, particularly the older ones who could remember previously even-matched contests against our rivals”.

So read my transcript of Sunday April 1st, 2001. I omitted to add that because it took place after midday on April Fool’s Day, when by tradition, the results did not count!

But the message is clear: turn off and we’ll get turned over. However, that was then and this is now. We are looking at the very least for a performance, an away goal would be welcome and any return of points exceptional!