I NEED to get something off my chest. The Great British Bake Off bores me rigid and the nation’s obsession with making and eating cake drives me to distraction.

Such is the excitement surrounding cake-making one would think it had just been invented. Anyone who has the time to throw a few ingredients into a bowl – or food processor if you’re idle - can make a cake. So what’s all the fuss about?

Cake appears like the VIP guest at every event - funerals, Barmitzvahs, weddings. Some are even prettier than the brides, and definitely sweeter.

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But when it plays the leading role in tea parties to raise money for cancer research and care, you have to wonder what a crazy mixed-up society we’ve become. If you don’t get it, then let me explain.

Obesity is a key factor in causing this evil disease and cake tends to have a lot of saturated fat, sugar and calories. It’s poor PR. Continuing on the theme of hypocrisy, Mary Berry, the queen of cakes, keeps herself slim for telly because she’s afraid that if she puts on the pounds it will put off the viewers.

“You don’t want somebody who’s judging cakes to be large,” she said. “‘Or else people will say, ‘Look what happens when you eat cake’.”

Gosh, is the British viewing public really so dense that they think Mary can regularly scoff giant blueberry muffins without acquiring her own spilling over the top of her smart slacks?

Culinary battleaxe Fanny Craddock was never bothered about being thin. Neither was Jamie Oliver. He could go from cheeky chappie to chubster in the flip of a fried egg. He eats his own food, that’s what chefs do. How else can they tell if they’ve been over liberal with the Moroccan spices? But at least the newly slimline Jamie’s current Superfood series concentrates on eating to promote longevity. And we all need a lesson in that.

A recent press release announcing National Cupcake Week almost sent me over the edge. Hello? Government bods? Have we forgotten that we’re in the throes of an obesity crisis and sugar is part of the problem. Diabetes is at an all-time high and growing, people are losing limbs with depressing regularity and yet we’re worshipping at the altar of carrot cake.

As Mary Berry has demonstrated, it’s very hard to have your cake and your halfpenny. And that’s the message that needs to be fed to the nation.