It’s with our husband or wife that most of us will have the longest, and deepest adult relationship of our lives.
Any marriage can have its moments; but when there is a blip, the parties at least know that they have responsibilities to try to make the marriage work because they alone volunteered for the relationship.
No one put a gun in their back, to get them to go up the aisle.
Just imagine what a marriage would be like if it had never been your idea, but had been forced on you, by your father, your uncles, or both.
It’s one thing for parents to try to play the matchmaker.
It’s not usually a good idea but it happens in all societies.
It’s quite another where the son or, more usually, the daughter cannot stand the person to whom they’ve been “introduced” but who is pressured, or threatened to marry them — and keep quiet about their objections too.
It’s horrible. I’ve seen what such forced marriages do to people.
The wife becomes de-humanised, without dignity, since she’s been treated, by her own family, as a transaction, a commodity, not a proper human being.
Even for the man who is being forced on the woman, life has little to offer; and many of the relationships, unsurprisingly, end in divorce.
As Justice Secretary I helped bring the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act into operation, three years ago.
It’s been used more than we thought — with 293 orders under the Act in the first two years and four months of its operation.
But forcing sons and daughters into marriage is still going on. Government estimates suggest at 5,000 to 8,000 cases a year.
In May, faced with this evidence, the Commons’ Home Affairs’ Select Committee recommended that forced marriage should be made a criminal offence.
The Home Secretary originally rejected the idea.
I’m very glad that this week, Prime Minister David Cameron has reversed this, and promised early legislation.
Ultimately this vile practice will only end when attitudes have changed.
New and tougher laws should hasten the day.
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