I ALWAYS believed that Cougars were a rugby team league. But following a popular TV series in the USA, the word has taken on a new meaning — older women who date younger men.
There’s also a series, Pumas, about thirty-something Cougars in waiting.
While I’d like to believe that 20-something men are attracted to women my age, it has to be said that the women in these American TV shows are extremely attractive.
With my frizzy red hair, moth-eaten cardigans and ‘yes, your bum does look big in that’ behind, I wouldn’t warrant a second glance.
To be honest, even if a miracle occurred and a strapping young lad did come lusting after me, I’d have to say no.
Not because I’m married (my husband would be happy for someone to take me off his hands) but because we would be incompatible in the extreme.
In what way? Off the top of my head, here are ten reasons why I couldn’t possibly date a 20-something: l Language: There would be a definite barrier — when I say ‘wireless’ I’m talking about the radio not the internet.
l Clothes: I would always want to pull his jeans up from the middle of his bottom, while he’d want me to abandon my waist-high trousers in favour of those which expose your belly and bum.
l Modern (to me it’s still modern, to him it would be normal) technology: He’d be forever texting mates and chatting with them on Facebook, while I’d fumble with my battered address book to call friends on an old-fashioned land line.
l Hobbies: All his would involve consoles and gadgets. I couldn’t hope to win him round to hill walking and birdwatching.
l Nightlife: I wouldn’t last five minutes in a crowded city centre bar with standing room only, and I can’t see him enjoying a leisurely pint in a country pub with my friends.
l Drink: I’d never learn the names of all those alcopops.
l Bedtime: I’m whacked and raring to retire at 10.30pm, while for him the night would still be young.
l Sex: He’d have to forfeit that, more or less for good, and get used to hearing the words “I’m tired” when the subject crops up.
l Music: I know I wouldn’t share his taste because I’ve rarely heard of anyone in the charts, although we could always chat about Vera Lynn.
l Kids: Last but not least – he’d have to deal with the fact that my children would be closer in age to him than me.
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