I HAVE an admission to make. If there’s one thing I love more than anything else it is a good old ‘conspiracy theory’.

I am not talking about the theories that say we have been forced to live like human guinea pigs, where our only way out of this mess simply pushes us further into it.

And how our democratically-elected government is actually sponsored by large corporations who want us to buy, buy and buy at any cost and then blame us when things just don’t go to plan.

Those are good stories, but if you really want to find out the truth you have to really LISTEN to the bunch of learned gentlemen who frequent my front room.

They seem to know everything and anything, like how the local council is run by a bunch of people whose job is to put more traffic calming measures in all the ‘poor’ areas.

The speed bumps have a hidden device in them that can tell the secret service about how many times you leave your home and visit the library.

And how a plot of land can be bought if you know the people who ‘really’ own the town.

When someone gets an extension there’s always a dubious past we were never aware of.

The bloke’s house was set to be knocked down, but he knew this guy who knows this other guy in the council who sorted a kitchen extension out for him.

Thus, the house is no longer on the danger list and can now house an extra fifteen to sixteen people.

The link is the key to everything. Uncle’s got a brand new motor.

His missus has a brother who’s a solicitor...he knows this guy who runs a group...they get funding from the national lottery...they had some money left over so decided to buy the solicitor a motor....he’s already got one...so he gave it to his sister...who can’t drive...so Uncle’s got a new hum vee.... simple really.

While this is all well and good, the best story has to be one that states that all the best jobs have gone to the foreigners, and how we are all in danger from this worldwide evil ideology.

But unlike all the other theories, there are actually people who believe this...or do they?