IF I see another picture of Natalie Cassidy in a bikini I think I'll scream.

Nowadays you can't even nip to the supermarket for a pint of milk without seeing her svelte new figure plastered all over the magazine stand.

Fair play to the girl, she's lost a lot of weight through sheer hard slog, but really, I don't need the proof of a thousand lunges a day shoved in my face while I'm getting in the weekly shop.

And although she does look good, is she really a size eight like she claims?

Hardly! I'd like to know where she buys her mirrors (miaow!).

I liked her much better when she was dumpy Sonia, the Moomin-faced trumpet-playing schoolgirl in EastEnders.

Coincidentally, Nat's on-screen sister Bianca is also causing me to want to gouge out my own eyes so I don't have to watch her.

Yep, you thought there was nothing more annoying than hearing Patsy Palmer's character screaming "Rickaaaay" all over Walford, but there is.

The new EastEnders advert. Starring Patsy Palmer.

You know the one - Bianca and her red-headed brood of children street dance their way through the Square singing the Jackson Five's I Want You Back.

See what they did there? Jackson Five... Bianca Jackson. Maybe it seemed like a good idea on paper.

I don't think I can top the response of one online blogger who simply said: "OMG, and not in a good way."

IN this country we love nothing more than putting people on a pedestal and then pulling them down again.

But the speed at which Miss England contender Chloe Marshall was hailed a role model in one breath, then criticised for being a "fat, lazy postergirl for ill health" the next, is shocking. The Daily Mail ran a story on the Surrey-born 17-year-old's bid to become Miss England, despite the fact she's a generous size 16 with her fair share of lumps and bumps. The journalist who interviewed her fawned over her "luminous skin" and quite beautiful "wide smile".

The very next day was a totally different story when the paper's nutritionist Monica Grenfell spat out a venom-filled diatribe calling her fat and claiming she displayed a "shocking lack of self-control".

I say get a grip - it's not like she's been outed as a smackhead. All she's guilty of is eating a few too many pies. And if she's happy enough to flaunt her wobbly bits in front of the world's media then good on her - she's a braver woman than me.

You'd think we wouldn't be shocked to learn anything scandalous about wannabe beauty queens anyway - over the years they've turned out to be everything from porn stars to men, for goodness sake.

As long as she doesn't start appearing on the cover of the weekly gossip mags week in, week out, I say You go girlfriend!'