Why are we so poor at languages?

I failed O level French 3 times. I guess over the years with a caravan, I've spent 18 months of my life there.

But I wouldn't even be able to hold a conversation with a 18 month old French toddler, would I?

Blackburn's twinning arrangement with Peronne, on the Somme, is the world's first and longest.

It goes back to the early 1920's. Our second "twin", Altena in Westphalia has been linked with us and Peronne since the early 1970's.

I've tried over the years to make it a living relationship.

We personally hosted Valerie from Peronne and Anke from Altena for 6 months and two years respectively.

I did German at Adult Classes, as I thought I should.

One day I had to ring the twinning coordinator in Altena.

She worked in a big wire factory in the town.

She speaks good German of course, but also English, French and Spain with some Russian.

If she picks up the phone, that'll be fine.

A man's voice asks "Bitte Schon?".

Damn. I gird myself.

"Entschuldigen Sie, kann ich mit Marita Noack sprechen?"

Good, I thought.

"Hi, I guess that's Bill Taylor. I heard your German was atrocious."

I was devastated, désolé even?

I've been taken Spanish recently too. We were there last week.

I was pleased with my:

"Para sellos, este un estanco cerca aqui?" & "Para mi una cerverza y para mi muja un vino blanco secco de casa por favour".

May not be spot on, but I felt like I'd tried. And they both worked!

Buoyed by my successes, we got food we wanted, found a tourist information office, bought a few things.

In banks and other places, once we started to speak, we were immediately offered almost perfect English to converse in. Usually we gave in.

So why are we so bad at languages? I usually plead it's the language of international business and commerce.

I then cite pop music and film gives others an unfair advantage over us poor Brits.

But somehow I doubt it.

Our plane lands at John Lennon. As we snake towards the terminal, people begin to reactivate their mobile phones.

The lady in front of us has her two young lads in tow.

"I'll just ring Dad", she tells them. "Hi love, it's me, did you record Corra?"