NEVER let it be said that instant wit and repartee is not alive and thriving in East Lancashire.

Whilst driving on a recent warm, sunny afternoon, I had stopped at the crossing between Blackburn Cathedral grounds and the Lancashire Telegraph offices to allow a young man pushing a pram to cross the road. He was accompanying a girl of similar age, who, even being charitable, was not pretty.

The girl was about 18 stones, dressed in a tight leopardskin top which miserably failed to contain its contents, and a micro skirt showing her thighs which resembled Californian redwoods.

The majority of people in the street were looking at this apparition, presumably with some sympathy for the young man when a call came loudly from somewhere behind me, "Hey mate, you should have gone to Specsavers" which resulted in everyone I could see being in stitches of laughter.

DAVID ALMOND (via email).