Barking mad

Maureen McKeown received a letter from Blackburn with Darwen Council informing her that her barking dog was disturbing neighbours.

But pet-lover Maureen, owner of a six-month-old kitten named Fred, said the letter had confused her because she doesn't even have a dog.

She said: "I'll have to teach him to bark now. He most certainly couldn't bark last time I checked.

"He doesn't even meow yet properly.

"He's a tiny black and white little thing. Just like the Felix cat off the television. He's as quiet as a mouse as well.

"He better start behaving like a dog if he is going to be called one. I can't wait to take him out on a lead -- how ridiculous would that look?"

The letter warned Maureen that surveillance visits would be carried out by the council at her house to investigate noise pollution.

Maureen, of Hollin Bank Road, Blackburn, said she had not stopped laughing since opening the letter on Thursday morning and has told everyone she meets to "brighten up their day".

She said: "It sounds like a wind up. I have been howling with laughter.

"I have told everyone I see in shops or on the bus to cheer them up.

"The best part is most houses around here do have dogs and they managed to pinpoint one of the only ones which doesn't.

"One of the reasons I wanted a cat is because they are quiet. Which is pretty ironic."

The letter from the council's pollution control department also had attached a leaflet entitled 'Barking Nuisance Can Be Avoided.'

The leaflet contained tips on keeping a dog happy and quiet, including training them with exercise routines.

Maureen said: "There was one point which said 'feed and exercise him before you go out and leave him some water'. So I'm afraid for Freddy it's no more milk and I'm going to start making him fetch things for me.

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A council spokesperson said: "