ONCE upon a time, we pushed her out to sea in a leaky boat with a crinkley bottom, hoping to see the last of her, but whist, the Pantomime Dame has returned to haunt Happy Mount Park once more.

Apparently, children are just not squealing loudly enough for her satisfaction in the paddling pool, so Gadzooks, it must be destroyed. Away with the water little ones have splashed and played in for generations.

No, whether they want it or not, the Dame has decreed at the parish pump that henceforth, children will have water jets, run by huffing puffing engine rooms.

Won't this cause the little Green Fairies to have a fit of the vapours and disturb the alignment of their halos ? Mothers may plead that their toddlers will cry and be amazed the Dame Sandyclogs takes no notice.

But then as Robert Burns siad, ' There are none so blind, as those who will not see '.

Irene Sutcliffe, Bare.