ARISE Sir Paul Barnes - the new high-five king of Turf Moor.

Burnley's striking hot-shot engineered a truly fantastic Fantasy Football League tale.

Barnes' five goals demolished Stockport with the force of impact which would have registered 10 on the Richter scale.

With the Premiership programme grounded, Barnes grabbed the national headlines. From Radio Five to The Times, he got the treatment.

And rightly so because this was a performance to treasure for the 28-year-old shooting star.

But it was a day, too, which will live long in the memory banks of those who were lucky enough to witness it.

And when he had executed his one-man destruction derby, the Turf Moor record books were re-written.

Stockport had more chance of stopping RoboCop than keeping Barnes in check.

And move over Statto's dressing gown - get a load of this.

CRASH...It was the first time a Burnley player had netted five since the bruising, bristling figure of Andy Lochhead blasted as many goals in a 6-2 win against Chelsea at Turf Moor in April 1965! BANG...It left Barnes to join a select band of only five Burnley players to have scored five goals in a league or cup match.

WALLOP...Even the individual club record of six - set by Louis Page in a 7-1 defeat of Birmingham at St Andrews in April 1926 - appeared in real danger at one stage.

It was a truly memorable feat as Barnes smashed a hat-trick in 29 minutes and netted all five in 42 minutes!

To score five at any standard of football is a remarkable achievement, but when they arrive as your first strikes for your new club, then that really is a bit special.

Barnes will always have a special place in his scrapbook for the two goals he scored against champions Manchester United last season. But this feat will give that cup cracker at the Theatre of Dreams a run for its money.

For Burnley fans it was sweeter still, arriving against Stockport.

There is obvious animosity between the two clubs and that simmered throughout this amazing 90 minutes.

But manager Adrian Heath, who shelled out £375,000 for Barnes from Birmingham, was understandly delighted.

"I'm a firm believer that you get out of football what you put in," observed Heath.

"Paul Barnes has worked hard and has not had a lot of luck in front of goal. He so much deserved this.

"They were great finishes. When you buy a player and break the club record you obviously hope he's going to come in and set the place alight straight away.

"I never doubted that Paul Barnes would do that at Burnley.

"I was especially pleased that it was in front of our own fans.

"I can't remember too many players scoring five in a league game." It's a strange old business the profession of a striker, isn't it?

One minute you wonder where the next will goal come from, scratching around for half-chances and morsels. The next you are scoring goals for fun.

Take Barnes. He had gone eight league and cup games for the Clarets without registering a goal since his Burnley debut at Gillingham on September 7.

He worked his socks off over the past month. Disallowed goals, goalkeeping heroics and the sidenetting had denied him. But all that changed against Stockport

This was the day when everything turned to gold for Barnes. In the space of an hour he'd become the Clarets second leading goalscorer behind Kurt Nogan.

Half-chances flew in from all angles as the Clarets striker, quite simply, ran riot inside the Stockport penalty box.

Barnes netted two headers, scored twice with his right foot and blasted in the other with his left peg! Stockport didn't know what had hit them as the Burnley number 10 ran the visitors' defence into submission.

Yet, there wasn't a hint of that goal-scoring earthquake until Barnes forged Burnley ahead with his first goal of the day.

It was a low-key affair until David Eyres jinked his way past two challenges for Barnes to float a perfect header over Paul Jones.

Barnes' second was right on half-time and what a great time to score psychologically.

This time Paul Smith provided the ammunition, Barnes rising high to plant a peach of a header into the top corner.

But Burnley's defence, which again appeared vulnerable on occasions, let County back into the contest.

They could only half-clear a Stockport attack and Brett Angell reduced the arrears.

Barnes, though, could not be stopped and delivered his hat-trick.

It was the first time that a Burnley player had registered three in a league game since Tony Philliskirk went nap in a 5-0 win over Barnet in April 1994!

The excellent Nigel Gleghorn split the Stockport defence apart with a slide-rule pass and Barnes, seeing his opportunity, kept his head to slide the ball home.

There was far worse to come for County as Jim Gannon and Lee Todd got in a terrible tangle. Barnes needed no second opportunity, smashing home his fourth against the underside of the bar and into the Stockport net.

Stockport grabbed a consolation, substitute Andy Mutch blasting home Jim Gannon's effort which came off the underside of the woodwork.

But that was all it was as Barnes had the last laugh, swivelling to crash home a volley for his fifth after Gary Parkinson had done the spadework.

His delight carried him over to the ecstatic North Stand.

There, standing in front of a section of Burnley support, he raised a hand, gleefully counting out each goal, finger by finger.

Barnes left the field to a standing ovation two minutes from time.

Heath revealed he had substituted his record signing so Barnes would get the acclaim he so richly deserved. A kind gesture.

And it was a day when Paul Barnes hit the goal-scoring lottery to claim a special chapter in the history of Burnley Football Club.

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