I WONDER if any of your readers can remember the words to a monologue which begins:

"Excuse me Mr La-De-Da if I sit next to you,

Oh, I won't contaminate you with my clothes,

But I'm feeling kind of lonely, and thought I'd like a chat...."

The gist of the tale is that a tramp feeling sorry for himself, approaches a smartly-dressed man sitting on a park bench with a chauffeur close by beside a luxury car.

He talks disparagingly to the rich man, going on at length in envious tones. The rich man listens patiently before responding and his reply ends with the words, "You see sir, you're better off than me for I AM BLIND."

I think the theme is of an ex-First World War soldier having a go at someone whom he assumes to have dodged the war but in fact the 'rich' man had been blinded in the battle of Jutland.

G BOWDEN (Mr), Firtrees Drive, Blackburn.

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