Have you noticed the saturation press regarding Di and Dodi? (as if you could miss it!)

I was going to write how sick to the back teeth I am of reading about it and here I am actually writing about it myself...sorry.

Some of it does make for quite an amusing read however, like the piece early in the week regarding his ex, Kelly Fisher, who said that Dodi was unattractive, she didn't like his hairy chest or his podgy body.

It seems she only stayed with him because of what dropped to the floor when he removed his trousers...his wallet!

DODI'S poor love-making technique is blamed on working at his dad's corner shop - Harrods.

Not the pressure, but the fact that he's used to serving people within two minutes.

WOMAN bathes in Vimto because it makes her and her boyfriend feel sexy.

Mind you, she's not the only person to get turned on by bathing with bubbles - there's Michael Jackson.

IN Kent, a woman who keeps exotic birds scares off foxes by rubbing garlic on her husbands socks and stuffing them down foxholes.

Why does she bother with the garlic?

VARIOUS Elvis sightings have been reported recently. People say they've seen him selling papers in a kiosk, going down a tube station in London and walking the beat as a copper...you know what's frightening? These people have the vote.

THIS week I have two hit albums from chart-stunning SWV to give away. The album includes the hits Can We and Someone featuring Puff Daddy.

The question is: What is SWV's biggest single hit?

Send your answers with your name, address and daytime telephone number to: SWV Competition, Kev Seed Column, Preston Citizen, 3 Winckley Court, Winckley Square, Preston, PR1 3JJ, by August 29. Usual Citizen rules apply.

Listen to Kev Seed's Breakfast Show on Rock FM every weekday morning 6-9.30am.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.