SAD. That's the only word to describe it. I could have wept.

How could the gorgeous Sarah's mum leave her just when the two had become reacquainted? I really wanted to give her a cuddle.

It had taken me less than 20 minutes to switch over to Neighbours from the football.

The other thing that upset me last night was that I eventually had to watch the England match on video.

That exercise prompted two thoughts.

Has anyone thought of letting the England cricket team play football (Andy Flintoff would make a great centre half) and letting Kevin Keegan's men take on New Zealand later this summer (apparently Sol Campbell is quite quick off his long run).

And it might be worth trying Sarah from Neighbours up front instead of Alan Shearer.

One goal, handed to him on a plate, does not, contrary to the widespread opinion of national newspaper men today, gloss over the fact that the England captain either no longer cares or is no longer capable - or both.

The newspapers that provide player marks out of 10 awarded Shearer two eights, two sevens and one six.

I rated Shearer on a par with the Bulgarian cameraman - clumsy, lacking control and behind the play.

He might have scraped a five had he stayed on his feet a little more often.

With Shearer leading the line, England have become one-dimensional.

The tactic to feed him at the earliest opportunity with the long hoof is light-years behind the level of strategy needed at international level. Even with David Beckham available to supply crosses from wide positions, when he is not blubbering like a big girl's blouse, Shearer has lost the ability to attack the ball in the box.

In today's transfer market, with Christian Vieri worth around £30 million, Shearer would struggle to fetch £3 million.

But, unfortunately, we now have an England manager who is still trying to justify the striker's £15million price he paid for Shearer's transfer to Newcastle

And, while it is still too early to condemn Keegan out of hand, I would be far happier if he was still practising his naivety in the Nationwide Football League.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.