A fan's-eye view from Turf Moor, with Stephen Cummings

THE Welsh Tourist Board have done a marvellous job on their most recent promotional film.

The sun radiates down on those famous, lush, sumptuous valleys. Contended couples stroll hand in hand across deserted, idyllic beaches. And the rough, natural beauty of Wales is presented in all its craggy mountainous glory.

All set to the elegant strings of "A Design for Life" by Welsh band, the Manic Street Preachers. "Wales" trumpets the accompanying text, "Two hours and a million miles away."

It is your correspondent's solemn duty to inform you that the film's makers are being, how can I put this..."selective" in their choice of which of Wales' virtues they extol.

Let's just say that had they pitched up in Cardiff on Saturday, they would have returned to the studio with very different material to that presently featured in the current TV add.

Cardiff is locked in a time warp. Somewhere around 1955. If ever someone wanted to make a film about football in that era, Ninian Park would be perfect. They wouldn't have to change a thing. Everything about the place is grey. From the terraces to the sky and all points in between. It's almost a surprise when the Cardiff team take to the field in blue. It's at this exact moment the heaven's open. And guess what? There's no roof on the visitors end. Which means the hordes of Clarets behind Paul Crichton's goal get a thorough soaking over the next couple of hours. The words "Druid" and "Spell" are mooted.

As Burnley impose themselves on their hosts, another contest is taking place on the terraces. A Clarets fan in a red hat and red coat engages in discourse with Cardiff fans to our right. Both parties have let it be known what they think of each other's country, before the Cardiff fans ask "whose the so and so in the red?"

Red man responds to the query by turning away from his interrogators, bending over and slapping his ample backside before elegantly pirouetting 180 degrees and flicking multiple V signs towards the Cardiff fans. The home supporters roar their approval and Red man looks suitably smug. Until the South Wales constabulary forcibly eject him from the ground.

That he has travelled over 200 miles to perform this extraordinary piece of cabaret is staggering.

Back on the pitch Burnley take care of business. Hopefully this will be the last we see of Cardiff for some time. As for the Welsh Tourist Board? Don't believe the hype.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.