OH no! Not another Don't Drink and Drive campaign by the police this Christmas!

Big yawn. We've heard it all before.

Don't get me wrong; I think it's vital that the police -- and everyone else -- gets across the message about the dangers of drinking and driving. But urging folk not to let a drop pass their lips if there is any chance of them getting behind the wheel just isn't realistic.

It's a bit like warning about the dangers of passing on the common cold over Christmas: Don't Breathe If You Talk To Anyone or, perhaps All This Christmas Kissing Has To Stop!

It's about time the Home Office and the police and all their expensive press officers and quangos and civilian staff and hangers-on came up with something just a bit more sensible; you might even say 'sober.'

The message should be along these lines: OK. So it's Christmas. And you are going to drive around a lot because it's very convenient and you don't want to get wet or cold and you are probably going to parties or pubs or you may have booze at home as well; now, what we don't want you to do is get drunk and then drive your car so have a social drink, by all means, perhaps have another a bit later -- but don't have any more. Now, that's not asking too much is it?

Yes, I know it's a bit long-winded. But I reckon it will make a lot more sense to Mr Average Driver than the Rechabite-inspired dogma which treats a sip of shandy as though it were a dose of Zyklon B.

I appreciate the difficulties the police have in suggesting that Mr or, perhaps especially, Mrs Average Driver can, with safety, consume two units of alcohol (two halves or two small whiskies). The effect can vary so much.

But, of course, this is exactly the problem every civilian has had since the Breath Test was rather hurriedly introduced.

It's time, by the way, that we had a sliding scale for convictions: Just over the limit -- a month ban; half as much again -- three months; double a year and so on.

A second offence should carry a five-year ban, as you will have had your chance and blown it.

Anyhow, if this letter gets up the noses of any drivers carrying a crate of breath-test kits on the back seat this letter was certainly not sent in by ...

HAROLD HEYS, Derby Close, Darwen.