A new weekly persona column in which Jamie Diffley looks at life...

HELLO dear readers, hope you are enjoying your new look Evening Telegraph.

And as an bonus over the coming weeks you get to relive my exploits after the powers that be gave me a column and said: "Go forth and write."

So please allow me to introduce myself - as Mick Jagger once said.

As the title suggest I'm Jamie, Jamie Diffley and I'm a 27-year-old from the wrong side of the tracks. Well Rochdale.

And it is in this sleepy town, just past the border of East Lancashire, where most of my tales take place.

So let me acquaint you with the main characters who will provide more twists and turns than a night out with a troupe of ballet dancers.

Long Suffering Marjorie: Often shortened to LSM, Marjorie has the dubious honour of sharing the one-bedroomed flat with my good self.

We've been together for ever and she must have the patience of a saint to put up with me but it's not one way traffic.

The LSM has her moments, which shift the suffering firmly on to my shoulders.

The Folks: I wasn't a sullen teenager - actually I was but that was my right and I just exercised it.

I'm definitely not a sullen twenty-something but me and the folks, we do things differently.

I accept that they wouldn't want to come to see some unknown band in a dirty dive and thus would never ask them, but virtually every Friday I (along with the LSM of course) am asked to join them and my sister and her husband for "a bite to eat and a couple of drinks".

And they genuinely sulk when I refuse.

I know I could phrase it better - my latest excuse was that I was busy filing my teeth to the gum with a matchbox - but you'd think they'd get the point by now.

Brother In Law: Briefly mentioned above but here are more details.

Don't get me wrong - there is nobody I would rather have married my sister than good old Billy Boy but he's closer to The Folks' age than he is to me.

Therefore the problem with The Folks rears its head again, only worse.

Where The Folks don't even try to talk to me on my level (for which I am grateful) Billy Boy is convinced he's still down with The Kids but gets it embarrassingly wrong.

Only last week he bought Oasis' Be Here Now, which, as all kids know, was not only dire but so 1999.

And for his birthday (his 40th birthday that is) he asked for "that Slimboy Fat album".

Needless to say I got him Celine Dion and he was well made up!

Golden Boy: Most of you are going to think I'm petty and perhaps a little mean but things need saying about the Golden Boy.

He is actually my nephew and has been the object of everyone's attention for all of his two years.

He's my sister and Billy Boy's first son and The Folks' first grandchild so you can understand the fuss. But the way they go on, honestly!

Everything he does is "brilliant" because "he's so clever" and "so funny".

I've told him before and I'll tell him again - enjoy it while you can because it won't last. Take it from me!

They are just a few of the mixed up muddled up characters in my world and I'll introduce you to many more as we go along.

For now though that's it - the LSM should be home soon and I've not started my chores yet.

Well you've got to make the effort haven't you!

See you next week.