THE Saturday home sale page of a national paper was advertising great stars and good music.

Excuse me. They want £8.95 for a tape and £10.95 for a CD of Bert Kaempfert. He must be the bain of every record collector's life, along with Ray Conniff.

The instrumentalist can be picked up for a song on every car boot and jumble, at every auction and charity shop. In fact in many cases they can't give the music away.

The thing is the duo must have sold millions of discs of the years, so they're laughing all the way to the bank.