Just Jamie - with Jamie Diffley

I'M getting a bit of stick this week over the misconception that I lean towards the tight side when it comes to money.

I'll freely admit I'm no Elton John, showering expensive gifts on my nearest and dearest or going on lavish shopping sprees, but it's a case of I can't rather than I won't. I simply don't have the funds available.

Granted if I was a multi-millionaire singer songwriter those around me would simply drown in my generosity.

I'd give the hair-weave a miss mind and as for those Disney songs - come on Elton. The facts are that more often than not money can be too tight to mention and you have to cut corners here and there, use your resources and basically get what you can.

So when the offer came up to write this week's pub grub review - essentially a free meal - I jumped at it and Wednesday night saw me holed up in an East Lancashire pub feasting on their finest fayre.

I won't say which one because that will ruin the surprise the mine hosts will experience when they read it in tomorrow's feature section in the Telegraph, but rest assured it was worth the effort.

Oh and it was the Long Suffering Marjorie's birthday and I had promised to take her out - which I did. It's just that I didn't pay for it.

And there in lies the rub. Colleagues are accusing me of being a cheapskate for taking my girlfriend out for a free meal on her birthday (actually when you see it in black and white it seems more damning than I first thought but nevertheless I'm sticking to my guns on this one and feel wholly justified in my actions).

I didn't tell the LSM about it either, but that's not because I think I'm in the wrong but sometimes you have to tell the little white lie for a quiet life, she just thought it was odd that we travelled all the way to Blackburn for a pub meal when there are plenty of places on our doorstep.

The LSM also couldn't understand why I was rather more attentive to details than I usually am when we go out for a pub lunch.

Instead of devouring it with the grace of a caveman I studied each morsel, chewed each vegetable and savoured each bite while taking in each detail of the pub around me. I even asked for a receipt: "you've never done that before" says she "well I'm doing it now" says me.

I can see how people might mistake this as the act of a cheapskate, a birthday is a special time and effort should be made I know, but you've got to admire my resourcefulness - a free meal and birthday treat in the same night. Top one!

It's nothing new either, I'm something of a veteran of the "freebie" presents. That Christmas compilation CD I gave Big Sis - gratis save a review in the relevant column. The book for Billy Boy - same again. And did my toothless Nana Flo really think I bought her dental floss. I'm not that thoughtless.

I accept the criticism thrown at me in the office but I know it's not just me who thinks like this.

The LSM's dad Joe the Joiner gets a bottle of whisky every year from his business contacts - oddly enough exactly the same gift I receive off him for Christmas and a mate who works at a chocolate factory is forever handing out the goods, although I don't know if they are freebies or stolen goods so forget I mentioned that one.

Be warned however. Those that live by the freebie sword die by the freebie sword.

Early on in the LSM relationship I gave her grandparents a copy of the classic film This Wonderful Life, courtesy of another paper I used to work for.

They thought I was marvellous until they put in on. The words "promo copy only" kept flashing up every 30 seconds and the timecode was running throughout. This Wonderful Life indeed!