MALE adornment through the ages has taken many forms, from cave men painting their faces through to Regency dandies, and even the hippie bead and "flower power" brigade.

Now there is a new trend that seems to be gathering pace. Every man has one, some stay hidden, some are flaunted unmercifully. What is it? It is the novelty tie. Homer Simpson in his shorts, Daffy Duck, the musical reindeers at Christmas, and those hideous South Park charmers who are now long past their sell-by date.

Of course, it is easy to tell everyone at work that the wife/partner/girlfriend bought it for a laugh, or that the children thought it reminded them of dad, especially Homer, drunk on his back surrounded by Duff beer. Don't believe it. These ties are bought by men to compete in the office to see who can find that "little number" that will turn heads. It won't be long before charity shop tie rails will be festooned with Bart Simpson bending over in the shower saying "Hey dude".

When grandchildren look at the family album in years to come and ask: "Grandad, why are you wearing that silly tie?" the standard response will be that he was wearing it for a bet. Dooh!

EX-KIPPER TIE