HE was a key figure in one of the highest profile criminal trials of recent times, but for eight years Blackburn jury foreman Alan Barry has remained silent about the James Bulger murder.

A lifetime, let alone eight short years, will never be long enough for him to extinguish the painful memory of the horrific murder of toddler Jamie Bulger.

The anguish still shows in the retired church warden's eyes when he speaks about the five-week trial at Preston Crown Court where, along with eleven others, he held the fate of child killers Robert Thompson and Jon Venables in his hands.

They were ten when they were found guilty of abducting and murdering their two-year-old victim after finding him in a shopping precinct in Bootle, Merseyside, in 1993.

Softly-spoken Mr Barry, 68, of St Martin's Drive, Blackburn, speaks calmly and intelligently about the issues surrounding the murder, the trial and now the release of Thompson and Venables.

Not for him the vigilante tirades of the lynch mob who demand the killers be hunted down, but a reasoned explanation of his opinions.

They are opinions he said he would rather have kept to himself rather than share with the world, but because a third party has revealed the role he played he has reluctantly broken his silence.

Although he could have known when he was called for jury service which case he would be involved in, Mr Barry says he realised as soon as he arrived at Preston that it would be the Bulger trial. He said: "I had already served one week on another case and when I turned up for the second week I knew immediately what was going on. The place was swarming with police and press photographers and I thought 'it must be the Bulger trial'.

"I was actually very unhappy about being picked for the jury because it was such a horrific crime that had been committed. I knew it would be a long and difficult case and it was made much worse knowing that children had committed this crime against a child the same age as my own grandson.

"When we filed into the jury benches Thompson and Venables hadn't appeared and nobody really knew what to expect, although we all knew it was a gruesome murder.

"When they were brought in one or two people just gasped. Here were two well-dressed and well-presented young children who just looked so normal.

"I could simply not imagine from what I had read and seen on TV that these two boys could be capable of such a thing. It would have eased the pain if it had been done by an adult.

"Even now I cannot comprehend the enormity of it all, it is something that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

"We were shown the photographs of Jamie's body and the injuries were just horrific, I'll never forget them.

The next five weeks are ones that Mr Barry never wants to repeat, starting with his selection as foreman, something that came as a complete surprise.

He said: "Every day of that trial my emotions were put through the mill.

"The photos were just horrific and not something I would ever want to see again.

"All the time the over-riding thought in my mind was how could somebody, let alone a child, do something like this to such a little boy." At the end of the evidence, it took the jury only five hours to reach their verdict.

He said: "It was hard to walk back into the courtroom knowing the eyes of the world's press were on us, but I was glad the trial was over and that we had reached what I thought was the correct decision.

"I thought they would be put away for about 15-20 years, which would have been appropriate if a sentence is going to fit the crime and I think there would be a lot less anger around now if they had gone to an adult prison.

"I can understand why people feel as they do, but as a Christian I can't agree with the mob mentality. If the country goes down that road it will be in a sorry state, but I am sad they have been released."

Religion was one thing which helped provide emotional support to Alan Barry during the trial.

He served as church warden at Immanuel Parish Church, Feniscowles, for three years and has been a regular at the church for more than 20. He says it was vicar John Cree who gave him counselling sessions every night when he returned home from the court.

He said: "John was brilliant. His door was always open and although I couldn't talk about the trial he knew what a horrific crime it was and we always ended up in tears after talking.

"My grandson Andrew, who was the same age as Jamie, also used to call me every night from his home in Germany and tell me everything was all right, that was good counselling."