APPLAUSE, congratulations and whispers of commendations and bravery awards for our ever vigilant boys in blue after their recent apprehension of that vilest of criminals, the feared patriot Billy Kelly who painted the Cross of St George on the road outside his home (LET, June 10).

How pathetic, boys and girls! Or did somebody fail to inform "Mr Plod" of the recent wave of euphoria and patriotism sweeping this great country?

Ah, ha! I hear the public cry, is this political correctness gone mad? Or maybe the real reason is with more people staying home to celebrate recent events, the volume of traffic on the road has vastly reduced, so leaving the poor lambs with not as many motorists to persecute.

So, in ending, I can now turn in for this night, after locking my five-lever shoot bolt doors and windows, lowering my bullet proof shutters, setting my state of the art alarm, tuning in my CCTV and allowing my three guard dogs to roam my home, safe in the knowledge the streets are being kept clear of the real criminals.

NEIL CLARK, St Mary Gardens, Mellor.