LAST night we had women undressing women, women patting each others bottoms and women handllng bosoms -- no not Tipping the Velvet, but BBC2's What Not To Wear.
Self-appointed style gurus Trinny and Susannah laid into their latest victim with all the enthusiasm of two public school games mistresses forcing shivering 11-year-olds to play hockey in the snow.
If there is a more frightful double act on the small screen I'd be amazed.
There's Trinny (how can you take anyone called Trinny seriously?) who you think could afford to wear a bra and Susannah who clearly wears two bras.
Continuing the bossy women theme, drawling American Dawna Walter forced a compulsive collector to get his act together in Life Laundry. This man didn't need a TV crew in his life, he needed therapy.
As they filled a 17 ton lorry with all his junk (soda syphons were a particular favourite) you could sense the poor man collapsing before our eyes.
After the hype Tipping the Velvet began -- a Good Old Days with nudity. Perhaps the Beeb was hoping that we'd overlook the lack of plot if they put in some sex scenes. It worked for me!
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