THIS column tries not to get involved in showbiz as there are often far more important topics to chew over. However, occasionally something happens to trigger a reaction.

During the past few days I have seen three events which mirror everything good and bad in the world of global entertainment.

Shirley Bassey has a commemorative album on release to mark 50 years in showbusiness. The adverts plugging the album on TV are remarkable in that Ms Bassey is svelte, glamorous, and singing as well as ever if, as I am led to believe, the album is from a recent incursion into the recording studio, not a remastered collection of her hits.

Ms Bassey has the reputation of being a difficult diva and stopped the bar service at cabaret clubs when she was on stage.

She has a faithful legion of 'camp' followers -- in the literal and metaphorical sense of the word, being a gay icon whose histrionics and theatrical mannerisms on stage strike a chord with devoted fans.

Many of them turn up night after night to her concerts, showering her with flowers (usually roses) at the end of her act.

Ms Bassey sells a song far better than most. Whatever one thinks of her, one has to admit that to survive 50 years in such a demanding and pitiless business, she must be special.

Jemini are special, too, but in a completely different way.

They are the pop duo who scored nil in the utterly awful Eurovision Song Contest and almost started World War Three in the process.

Terry Wogan said their marking was a backlash from the UK's involvement in Iraq. He should be forced to apologise to the judges and sectioned under the Mental Health act.

Jemini scored nil because they were dreadful.

The song was garbage and the pair chosen to perform it were karaoke recruits, out of their depth even in a competition as banal as this one.

The UK is teeming with talented singers and bands. Why weren't some of them short-listed for this contest? If we must go, why don't we go with someone who can make an impact?

At one time the UK led the world in popular music. Jemini wrecked that reputation in a matter of minutes.

Meanwhile, over in the good ol' US of A, American Idol drew to its glittering finale with two and a half hours of completely over the top schmaltz.

A young giant with the voice of an angel beat an equally talented but skinny guy. They were both terrific and it was a shame someone had to lose.

The agony was waiting so long to get the verdict and I lost the will to live after the 120th "We lurve you". I felt the saccharine grating on my teeth when Paul Anka was wheeled on to sing a version of 'My Way', tailored specially for the show.

The big winner of American Idol was the UK's very own Simon Cowell, TV's Mr Nasty, who seemed to be barely able to contain himself as he imagined the millions of dollars pouring into his already swollen bank account.

I wonder what Mr Cowell would do with Jemini? Drown them very probably.