CHURCH organist Neil Holland has revealed his secrets to the nation.

Writing in the Daily Telegraph in sympathy with an unknown Simon Dixon about the taboos of tattoos, the Leigh choirmaster states: "I ought to be grateful that in my line of work my collection of tattoos (currently eight) and the majority of my piercings are concealed by my cassock and surplice."

Oooooh I say. Sounds like a scene from the smashing Vicar of Dibley.

I can't say I'm a fan of body art, less so on women, but what the eye doesn't see...