NOW children, are you sitting comfortably? Then we will begin. How can we tell when Morecambe's tourism season has reached its height?

Why children, aren't you clever? Yes, it is when that notice appears at Happy Mount Park saying the pool is out of order.

Perhaps our very own head-mistress could emerge from the vastness of the staff room and explain why this phenomenon, peculiar to Morecambe, occurs year after year after year.

Irene Sutcliffe, Elms Road, Bare.