I WILL be mostly attending a carnival this weekend. Not the sort of carnival with rides and all that but the kind that reminds me of the days when everybody had to wear a white hood, burn the odd cross and chant some hocus pocus.

The only difference here being that this particular rally is taking place during the day and the organisers are passing it off as a family fun-day.

I've got a strange feeling, though, I ain't going to be welcome, so maybe I should make do with the good old summer funfair.

MY UNCLE Jameel loves the funfair for some reason and believes there should have a regular one in the town centre every Saturday.

The dodgem cars are a real favourite. Much like the Next sale - you know it's not worth it but you just can't help queuing up.

The games are designed in such a way that most of the time the punter loses. So who the hell invented the "hook the duck" game?

IT'S almost impossible not to win but there is always one gentleman who takes 20 attempts to hook himself a duck and he's always so proud when he gets the prize.

While the funfair might keep some of us amused for a while, I must admit Saturday afternoons have been far too quiet without the football.

THOSE Eurosport re-runs can only do so much for the hardened football fan.

While I have resisted writing about the game for a couple of weeks, I can take it no more.

It's been difficult not having any football, or for that matter any worthwhile cricket to watch.

Although Ishy, Iqbal, Robbo and the team have kept most of us busy with seven-a-side footy during the week, the Premiership is still the only thing that keeps most of us sane.

It's the sponsorship and endorsements that really get some of us down, though.

At the beginning of the season our minds are clear.

BY THE end of it our heads are full of logos, catch phrases and funny little tunes.

It's hard enough remembering the players' names, never mind having useless information forced down our throats.

You won't see me saying I love getting burgers from Shaf's, my chips from the Hake Boat, my petrol from the Rosehill Garage and my newspaper from Khonats.