DEAR MASSI,

I have been with my partner for nearly a year.

He says he loves me but I am beginning to wonder if he means it.

He goes on and on about his ex-girlfriend, how pretty she was, how good at this and that, how much she loved him!

He makes it sounds as though I am nowhere near as great as her but it's me he is with and me he says he wants to marry! I really don't understand why he goes on about her all the time. I've explained that he hurts my feelings, I have even begged him to stop but it makes no difference. I've had other partners too but I don't go on about them all the time. How do I get through to him that I have had enough of this?

UL

MASSI SAYS,

Have you ever wondered why they broke up? Perhaps he went on and on to her about a previous girlfriend and she decided enough was enough!

Every time he starts on about her, you could immediately try starting to compare him with one of your ex-boyfriends.

He might then take the hint. If he simply refuses to recognise how unfair he is being and still carries on I feel you may have to resort to an ultimatum.

Either stops going on about her or he can simply go back to her. He needs to be made to realise just how unfair he is being and how badly this is hurting you.

I suspect he is a very insecure person and this all stems from his need to make you see that once, someone loved him so your reassurance might help.

That may not be easy to do when he is in full flow but because he will inevitably start to make you feel negative about your relationship. But, if you do love him and want to make this work, make sure he knows you love him and no one else. Whatever you do, though, don't let him get away with this behaviour any longer.