DEAR MASSI,

I have been reading Dear Massi regularly for years and have never written in before.

I have got myself into a serious situation and cannot find any way out. My best friend got married recently. I was overjoyed for her and she was very happy.

It was not an arranged marriage as such as both of them knew each other for a while before they were married.

Soon after the wedding I went to visit her. Her husband was home too.

I was sitting in the living room and whilst my friend was in the kitchen her husband made a pass at me. He stroked my leg and asked me how old I was.

I just sat there and was in shock for a couple of minutes. He left the room when he realised how upset I was.

I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I quickly made an excuse and left.

I have spoken to my friend since. She's only been married for a couple of weeks and I am not sure whether to tell her about the incident.

She knows something is worrying me as I haven't returned to her house.

I have only told one of my close friends about what happened.

J Manchester

MASSI SAYS,

I know it must be very difficult for you.

To put it bluntly I think you should tell your friend because she has a right to know about the behaviour of her husband.

I know your relationship with your friend might become strained but if you don't tell her it could lead him to repeat the act in the future. How do you think your friend will will feel if she finds out in a couple of years? He might already have done this to other women. Whether she believes you or not is not the issue. This incident has occurred early on in the marriage and your friend must know her husband acted in such a way.

She might not believe you at first but if she trusts you as a sincere friend I think she will understand why you had to tell her.

I also get the feeling from the tone of your letter that you think it's your fault. It isn't. You should not blame yourself.