I have been married for four years and my husband has been very good to me. We have one child. But in the past two months my world has been turned upside down.

I have learned that my husband was married before and has fathered a child too. He also goes to see this other woman and take care of the child. I found this out after becoming suspicious and got someone to follow him.

When I confronted him he admitted everything. He tried to justify it all by saying he was trying to do the right thing and wanted to keep both of us happy. He said she didn't tell him the child was his until after he had been married to me for two years.

I don't know what to do. He says that he still loves me and wants to remain with me. But he also has a duty towards his other child.

I worry all the time whenever he leaves the house and am depressed. The news has shattered any trust I had in our marriage as I feel I have been lied to and used. I haven't met this other woman but I want to. My family doesn't know anything of the situation and I am ashamed of telling them.

LUA

Manchester

MASSI SAYS,

It is very selfish of your husband not to tell you of his past before you got married. Whether you believe he knew about the child before he got married or not, that is a decision for yourself. However, if this is his child then he has a right to see it. But you must explain to him that he is married to you and he is the father of your child. He must not have anything to do with this other woman. Sometimes meeting the other woman can help because you might find she is as worried about the whole situation as you are but it may also disappoint you.