I would like to voice my concerns regarding marriage in our culture.

We all like to blame each other about this issue but I think if some people changed their views maybe we would get somewhere.

In our culture why do we have to go through 'Badnami' to be happy? Why can't we marry who we want? Why is it always the case that if we youngsters want to marry someone we choose then no-one around us is happy?

Yet if we marry who we don't want, we make everyone happy. It's a vicious circle. Its not against our religion to marry someone who is not in our caste.

I am only young, but what I see around me amazes me. I have seen friends that have been through the same and I cannot believe it still exists today. Maybe its just hidden more.

The irony of it all is that some parents will talk like they are liberal minded but when it comes to acting on their words they are totally different. Some people are only allowed to marry their cousins and no one else, even if it is a close family friend they have known for years.

Some can't marry out of their caste. Some parents want to keep their own families happy by giving 'rishtey' to their brothers' and sisters' children. Some parents want to keep everyone abroad happy because apparently they are all 'poor' and if they come to England they will give us a lot of 'duas'.

When you try to explain to your parents that this is not what you want, it's a case of 'putar, in life sometimes you have to make sacrifices, you have to make others happy' and 'no-one finds love anyway, love doesn't exist,' 'it only exists in films'.

You probably know people like that. You will probably know people that are supposed to get married to someone but are gong out with someone else. Then when that relationship breaks down people get hurt. These situations have become all too normal for us. There are those who have had to fight to get their own way and then suffer from 'Badnaami'.

What I want to get across is the fact that we all go through this just to be happy. Marriage is one part of our lives and we as a community are number one in making things harder for us.

I know it won't happen but this world would be a much better place if some parents opened up their minds and realised people are not there to be sacrificed like goats.

Name and address not supplied.