I was planning to replace my moth-eaten berber carpet with polished wood flooring in a bid to wipe out years of trouble from the perishing nuisances.

That was until I discovered the trend had led to a record 400pc increase in accidents in the home -- caused by people slipping while barefoot or in socks.

Being a clumsy oaf who never wears shoes in the house I can just imagine myself hurtling headfirst into the breakfast bar. Perhaps I'll have to re-think.

Another dangerous craze I haven't yet taken up is the one for scented candles. Though I have plenty scattered about the house (bought as unwanted gifts) I never light them, unlike a neighbour opposite who, like Hyacinth Bucket, is renowned for her Saturday evening candlelight soirees when her little kitchen is lit up like a church altar after a disaster.

Thankfully the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents has reported that accidents in the house were down overall this year, though amazingly trouser-related mishaps have doubled to 10,100 since 1998.

None can be so tragic as an inquest I reported on at Leigh Infirmary in the sixties when a man plummeted downstairs to his death after putting both feet in the same trouser leg. I've never forgotten it and it put me in good stead for never dressing on the landing!