IT'S two months since Emma Massey and Simon Hodgkinson lost their only son, Joshua, after leaving him at the home of a child minder.

They spoke to reporter DAVID HIGGERSON about the pain of living with their loss every day.

A CHILD'S first footsteps, their first words, the first birthday party and the first family holiday. They are the sort of memories every parent treasures.

But for Emma Massey, 24, and Simon Hodgkinson, 33, they are all they have to remember the 19-month-old son who had become such a massive part of their lives.

They can remember every minute detail, and talk about them daily with the friends and family who are helping them come to terms with their loss.

In the couple's living room in St Paul's Street, Clitheroe, there is a video of a holiday in Tenerife, which Emma and Simon took Joshua on just before his first birthday.

For many parents, it is the sort of thing which would be stored away and pulled out when relatives came to visit or kept to embarrass when their children became a teenager.

To Emma and Simon, who also has a six-year-old son, Thomas, from a previous relationship, it is a way or remembering their Joshua's mannerisms, and is played almost daily.

Simon said: "We're so glad we bought the camera. It really is all we have left to see Joshua now.

"He was always exploring, always getting into mischief and always the centre of attention."

Photographs of Joshua have also taken on an extra significance.

As Emma and Simon go through them, they smile as they remember the little boy who lit up their lives.

They stop at a picture of Joshua next to a washing machine, a biscuit in one hand, food down his front, and his other hand apparently heading towards the temperature dial.

Emma said: "Joshua was such a bright lad. He knew how to make the washing machine work.

"We were round at my friend Andrea Buchannan's house in Clitheroe once and we heard the washing machine start up. Joshua appeared, and it later turned out he'd set it to 90 degrees. One of Andrea's cardigans was a lot smaller than when it went in.

"I think that is where he got the nickname Wish Wash from. It certainly summed him up!"

That nickname stuck, and is now inscribed on one side of his gravestone at Clitheroe Cemetery.

Joshua's obsession with domestic appliances didn't stop with washing machines.

Emma said: "He loved vacuum cleaners too, especially the little ones called Henry which his gran and grandad, Bill and Dorothy Bridge, had.

"We bought him a toy one at home which he played with all the time." It was his love for the toy vacuum which led to his first words -- a day etched on Emma's memory. She said: "A bit of the toy vacuum would keep falling off and after showing him again and again how to fix it, I'd say to him 'you do it.'

"One day, when it broke, he brought it to me and said 'you do it'. I'll never forget that."

At his funeral, little cards with Joshua's picture, his date of birth, date of death and his first words, were handed out to the congregation.

Even at his funeral at St Paul's Church, Low Moor, it seemed Joshua had been up to mischief, remembers his gran, Cathy Massey, of River Lea Gardens, Clitheroe. She read the bedtime story to Joshua's coffin which had the entire congregation weeping.

Cathy said: "As they put the coffin at the front I looked at some of the flowers and saw some had fallen out, as though they had been picked out. I turned to Emma and said 'It looks like Joshua has been here.'

"It was just the sort of thing he'd do. It was like he was there, which I suppose he was."

After the family trip to Tenerife, Joshua's love for the toy vacuum gave way for a Little Tikes ride 'em toy car.

Emma said: "In the creche he went to when we were on holiday, he always sat in this car. I remember telling mum about this and when we got home at around 3am, she had left a car in the front room for Joshua. He loved it straight away."

As well as the photos of Joshua in the toy car, pictures of him at his first birthday party, held at the Low Moor club, also raise a smile.

Emma said: "He really was the centre of attention that day. He was walking by then and everyone doted on him. It's days like that, and then seeing the number of people at the funeral, which make you realise what an impact he had on people."

Like most parents, Emma can rattle off the date and time of Joshua's birth. September 5, 2002. Tragically, memories of how he she found out 'her little man' was dead are at the front of her mind too.

She said: "I had been out for the night, and all night I had this feeling I can't describe. I'd never had it before, and never since, so I don't what it was, but something wasn't right.

"About 5.50am, there was a knock on the door. It was Brett Jackson, a policeman we know very well. He had to break the news to us that Joshua had died at the childminder's house. I rang mum straight away. My world had collapsed."

Cathy said: "I had woken up in the night and couldn't sleep. Then the call came from Emma. Everything went into auto-pilot then."

Emma said: "Our friends have been wonderful. My best friend, Louise Blenkinship, lives close to us has been with me every day. We are starting to go out of the house again now, and seeing people around. It's still not real though, because some people try to avoid us, not knowing what to say."

Emma and Simon have two folders full of condolence cards, and Simon's dad, Peter, landlord at the Brown Cow pub in Chatburn, collected a two-page list of names of people who rang the pub to pass on their sympathies.

Cathy's back garden is now home to a monkey puzzle tree, donated by colleagues from the vets she runs in Burnley.

She said: "We asked for it instead of flowers because Joshua loved a monkey puzzle tree up the road from here. I'd always tell him the monkeys were playing. He was fascinated."