DEAR MASSI, I getting married later this year but things are going so wrong.

I decided it was for the best that being the eldest in the family I go with the wishes of my parents. My friends were telling me not to succumb to the pressure but I think deep down I felt my boyfriend of three years would not make a good husband.

He broke my heart when he went off with some other girl for two months but we got back togther. But things were never the same.

My wedding has been arranged with a man my parents introduced me to and I am happy getting married to him. However, my boyfriend has not got the message and has vowed to break the wedding off.

He texts me all the time and calls my house. My parents know of him and think I am leading him on. I am not. I told him it was finished three months ago.

I even spent a whole day explaining to him that I didn't love him any more and he should move on. But things have got worse and worse and he drives past my house and hounds me in the street. He knows the way I go to work and waits there for me.

I do have some feelings for him but he is making me hate him now. I don't want to hate him and when he does call I feel guilty that I may have led him on. He says we were meant to be together but deep down I do not trust him and want to marry someone completely different.

The situation is getting dangerous now as the wedding gets closer. I am afraid of what he might do to me and my family. He has a very short temper.

P Bolton

MASSI SAYS,

I understand you might feel sorry for him but your life shouldn't come to a standstill becuase he won't get the message.

He may feel as if there is a part of you that still loves him or he may simply be finding it difficult to move on.

You need to explain to him that there is no going back and you intend to go through with the wedding. And he if really does love you he should let you live your life. If that is what you want.

If he still doesn't listen then I am afraid you can tell him that you will get do it through legal means - ie the courts.

It is a difficult situation to be in for you and your family. But you cannot make decisions because you feel sorry for people. It is your life and your decision in the end.