I used to go to the gym but I don't any more. There's too many of my cousins there!

There is something quite peculiar about the gym. Something strange when you go there after a while.

There's an atmosphere. A funny one. The kind only Rangeela knows about and the rest of us don't speak of.

In the olden days the last place you would find any of the brothers was a gym.

"Gym we don't need no stinkin gym." They used to say. "If I want to spend £3 to look sexy I'll go to Top Man."

The sauna was never ever warm enough and some guys would sit there and remove all their dead skin.

You know who you are.

"This ain't hot - you want to sit in a bus from Calcutta to Delhi my friend - that'll sweat it out", a wise man said to me.

And nobody ever had a shower because of the 'nagain bandein' (naked people).

The y-fronts stayed on and that was that! Just like in school.

And when you did have a shower it was something of a novelty because everyone had a jug and bucket at home. The shower was treated with the respect it deserved and I'm sure some people only ever had that one shower in a week so as not to waste water at home.

The Zest, Dettol, Head and Shoulders and toothpaste were carried into the shower in a tatty Tesco bag.

Rules! What rules?

When it was time for the Jacuzzi there was a pause before someone would always ask.

"So the rules about doing a moottar are the same aren't they?"

The moment someone walked into that changing room and took the towel off there was funny look on some people's faces. Shall I look? Just a peek? Shall I pretend I dropped my money? Oh no better not do that!

But no more. The gym is the place to be for all the boys and gals.

Whilst old habits die hard there are new ones. Like the workout itself. One fella walks in and lifts two weights, does a quick forty second jog before heading straight for the shower.

He was sweating more before he came into the place.

The groups are the worst. Sleeves rolled up to the shoulders with Donnay tracksuit bottoms on.

"Baby, Do you need any help with that?"

I think for some people it's the idea of going to the gym that makes them feel better about themselves.

"Kithay Challiyan? (Where are you going?)"

"Gym Shym" and that is that.