DEAR MASSI,

After months of trying I have finally forced my parents not to look for a husband for me. They were adamant that I get married to someone from London. He's a distant cousin of ours and the family is very respected.

But I didn't want to go through with it because I already have a boyfriend. My parents eventually listened to me. They said they wanted to meet this 'friend' of mine.

I was overjoyed at their decision as I had thought they would never change their minds.

But in the past month I have found out my boyfriend has been seeing this other girl. One of my so-called friends. she sometimes acted like a go-between when I found it difficult to see him.

I feel like a complete fool. I don't know what to do. I don't want to let my parents down now because I argued with them for so long. They will never listen to me again or trust my judgement. Despite admitting his relationship with someone else my boyfriend says he still loves me and wants to marry me.

Should I introduce him to my parents. If I don't then I will look so stupid.

FG

Bolton

MASSI SAYS,

Even thinking of getting married when your husband to be has acted in such a way is quite silly in my opinion.

Marriage is not something you do out of pride because it may all end in tears. You should think long and hard about whether you can forgive your boyfriend for abusing your trust.

Whilst you were going through a very torrid time in your life and arguing with your parents this man was with someone else. And a friend of yours at that! Is this not evidence enough that he cared little for you and what you were prepared to do for him.

It seems he has taken your feelings for granted and will do so again.

Can you be sure that after marrying this man he will not cheat on you again?

I am sure if you tell your parents that you no longer wish to get married to this man they will understand. After all they were prepared to listen to your pleas the first time.

Families can forgive and forget quite easily. They may well say 'I told you so'. But isn't that better than ruining your life and living with someone who may hurt you over and over again.