We all know that men are from Mars and women are from Venus -- but did you also know that those two planets have different languages? JENNY SCOTT attempts a translation

IT'S one of women's most endearing and annoying traits, depending on which way you look at it -- our talent for saying one thing and meaning something completely different.

And sometimes, you even have to wonder whether men and women are speaking the same language.

Poor communication can be a problem in as many as 85 per cent of relationships.

Denise Knowles, a Relate counsellor, says communicating with the opposite sex is like understanding a foreign language.

"If we're going to a foreign land and we don't know the language, we make the effort to learn and understand a few words. I sometimes think we need to learn from that experience in our own homes."

While poor communication isn't a problem for Claire Gibson and her husband Nick, Claire admits she's noticed women don't always say what they mean.

Claire, managing director of Claire Gibson and Associates on Preston New Road, Blackburn, said: "I think sometimes, as women, we assume we've actually said something when we haven't said it.

"We surmise the conversation in our heads and think people know what we're talking about, when actually they may not."

However, Claire's relationship shows it is possible to train a man to understand the meaning behind the words.

"If I say, 'I've left a magazine upstairs' Nick now knows that means I'd like him to go and get it for me!" she said.

"I think I'm quite good at putting suggestions into his mind. I just don't think men are as good at doing that with women."

Likewise, Amy Cullens, 29, from Darwen, has found ways to subtly manipulate her partner Darren by saying the right things.

"I just tell him what he wants to hear and he believes it all," she said. "I say I love his cooking, so he'll make dinner for me and things like that. Of course, as soon as he reads this, he'll cotton on."

But Amy says there are some things men just refuse to comprehend, no matter how bluntly you say it.

"We always have to watch what he wants to see on TV," she said.

"And I haven't yet found a way to get him to take me out to a restaurant instead of going out with his mates."

And Jennifer Maxwell, from Chorley, said: "I think sometimes we're just too subtle for our own good. Men aren't very bright and they just don't pick up on these things."

The secret language of women . . .

Here are a few useful translations:

WHAT SHE SAYS: How about going to the cinema tonight?

WHAT SHE MEANS: If I have to spend one more night at home, I'll go insane.

WHAT SHE SAYS: I'll be ready in a minute.

WHAT SHE MEANS: Do you mind watching TV for another half-an-hour?

WHAT SHE SAYS: We need to talk.

WHAT SHE MEANS: I need to complain.

WHAT SHE SAYS: Oh, no, I'll pay for myself.

WHAT SHE MEANS: Or you can pay, if you insist.

WHAT SHE SAYS: Do I look fat?

WHAT SHE MEANS: Do you still love me?

WHAT SHE SAYS: Do you think we should redecorate?

WHAT SHE MEANS: Time to hit the DIY store and get cracking.

WHAT SHE SAYS: Were you the last one in the bathroom?

WHAT SHE MEANS: It's an absolute state, so you'd better go and clean it, now.

WHAT SHE SAYS: I know you've made an effort.

WHAT SHE MEANS: It's just not good enough.

WHAT SHE SAYS: I'll do the cooking and washing-up tonight.

WHAT SHE MEANS: Did I tell you I bumped the car this morning?

WHAT SHE SAYS: Can we just cuddle?

WHAT SHE MEANS: I'm not in the mood, but I still love you.